Spinning in a circle never ceasing, the clock keeps ticking. Ticking ticking and a terrible ringing fill my ears, fills my head. This pain is never ceasing like my thoughts, but it will never deceive me it’s a constant. As constant as the mistakes I make. Like the one that brought me here. Tears falling like rain, it’s all out of my control. Like the events that tied us together, but now you’re gone. Like a flower petal in the wind, you were beautiful. I miss you. I never cherished the time we had and now it’s gone. And I don't know how to waste my time besides sitting here staring at the clock.
RootsKill him, Kill him. kill the man hiding inside of me the man who takes over when I am too weak to hold him back, O God knows I try so hard to hold him back but it is just so hard, as I grow weaker he grows stronger and begins to tear away at the walls I have built to hold him back, and when they collapse I can see him coming for me fists clenched eyes burning with rage his tongue flickering like that of a serpent silently whispering lies telling me everything will be alright he is going to fix all of our problems, he says he is going make me forget the troubles and make all the pain go away. And I will lay there numb with an empty mind for a few moments then the man, no not a man the monster who was hidden inside of my heart for so long begins to depart and he looks back over his shoulder towards me and smiles knowing his deeds are done leaving me to put the pieces back together.
As I start to gain feeling the pain returns even worse than before, it can’t be avoided. Pain will always be there to greet me with open arms, I can’t get rid of it, and the monster inside of me can’t get rid of it. I have heard of one who can but I have no room for him inside of my heart because it’s occupied by my secret desires and the evil's I can’t seem to rid myself of. I could try to make room for the healer but it would hurt I am not sure I want more pain, I have figured out how to cope with what I have at least until something new falls apart in my life but I am sure that if that happens I to will fall apart. But as the seasons change so does my life. And the little sins that seemed harmless have grown and I am now strangled by their roots. It is no longer a matter of pain but a matter of life; I don't think I can live like this for much longer. That is if you can even call this a life. So with my final breaths I call out to the healer who has waited so close to me for all these years begging and pleading to save me even when it hurt him more than me. As my vision starts to blur I can feel your healing touch freeing me from my sin, YOU EMBRACE ME! And whisper to me "son I LOVE you everything will be OK, you will have no more pain, you will never be lonely because I will be here for you". As I look up towards your face with misty eyes I see my sins wrapped around your neck. |